Love this rejection letter
Dear Mr. Geisel,
Due to the high volume of submissions I receive, I typically send form rejections. However, your manuscript is so terrible I feel I must respond in person. Needless to say, this project isn’t right for us. Allow me to expound.
Do you really expect today’s uber-health-conscious parents to promote poor breakfast choices by reading this book to their children? Seriously, it’s high-cholesterol and it’s been injected with green food coloring. Furthermore, you have overlooked crucial details: are the eggs from cage-free chickens? Is the ham made from organically-raised pigs, without the use of hormones or antibiotics? I mean, have you even seen the movie “Babe”? Have you looked at the current food trends in this country? With “doctor” as part of your pseudonym, I must say I expected you to have done your research.
In terms of your illustrations – well, I’m not sure that revealing the fact that you imbibed a space rocket full of LSD…
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